Posted by: smstrouse | June 30, 2011

Marriage in a New York Minute

We were waiting, waiting. Checking the TV news, looking online. Was New York going to vote to approve same-sex marriage?

I was in Buffalo, NY last week, visiting my best friend and her partner of 17 years. For many of those years, I had been the only other one who knew about their relationship. Secrecy was crucial, since my friend was serving a Lutheran congregation and knew her job – her very ordination status – was at risk. She eventually decided that she’d had enough of hiding and lying, came out and was accepted onto the clergy roster of the UCC. And even though the ELCA has changed its policy on partnered lgbt clergy, she is happily serving a UCC congregation that has always accepted both her and her love without reserve.

And now that New York has seen the light, they want to get married. Yes, they had a commitment ceremony and exchanged rings years ago. They have the love and support of family, friends, and congregations. They are married in the eyes of God. Should being married in the eyes of the state matter?  For some, it definitely does. So again I say that couples should have the right to marry or not. And I fully support and celebrate my friends’ decision to ‘make honest women of themselves.’

So we’ve got a wedding to plan for Labor Day weekend. Of course this means I have to travel back to Buffalo in September (not the best time for me to be away), and then back again to PA for a family wedding in October. Still, when asked if I would come back to officiate at my friends’ nuptials, my answer was, “In a New York minute!”

So, thanks New York!  And get with it California!



  1. sorry to hear that you preach same sex marriage not quite sure why you do if you belevie that Gods word is truth.sorry to hear that you think your friends marriage is okay in the eyes of God I know he wept in sorrow when He saw and heard this, another one of His words of trurh broken.sorry to hear that you think its ok to use the quran in church as away message not sure how you see its views on same sex issues I take it you will treat it like you do Gods word,read the parts you like and ignore the bits that disagree withthe way you want to live. I pray that you read and listen to what God has to say in His word and look deeply at the way you are walking as its in the opposite way God needs you to go.


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